Monday, April 12, 2010

FAILURE


I could feel the words, all of a sudden, stamped on my forehead in bright red for all to see. I was loafing around town today, shopping, as usual, and as I got in line for my totally unnecessary finds, I happened to check my phone for the time. I should have done this 30 minutes ago! I saw that it was 2:35 and my first grader gets out at 2:20! FAILURE! I immediately THREW down my items and ran to the car as I dialed the number to his school. In a panic I tried to explain to the secretary that I had lost track of time and could she please check the place where he waits for me and bring him in to the office. (Keep in mind, it's raining today, and he's been waiting 15 minutes for me)! I got there 10 minutes later, so now he has been waiting for me for a total of 25 MINUTES!!!! I was shaking all the way to the school. All I could think of was what a FAILURE I am! I am a stay-at-home mom! It's not that hard! I don't clean much, I don't cook much, all I really need to do is BE THERE for the kids, and today I couldn't even do that! To be honest, it was a boxing match in the car, I completely beat myself up. I went through my days of lunches, shopping, pedicures, and social networking. I spend very little time on my family unless I'm with them and a lot of our money, much more than I deserve, keeping myself occupied. All God has asked me to do is be a good wife and mother and I am miserably falling short. I know if you ask my kids, I do all that they need, if you ask my husband, I'm sure he could come up with a few things he'd like to see me improve upon. If you ask me I am a huge FAILURE today. The good news is, I know I have made some improvements recently and I will get right back on track. Thankfully I am blessed with grace, and I had to use it today.
As I parked the car at the school and ran toward the office my son came out running toward me. No tears, no whining, no questions, he just gave me a smile and a big hug. I followed his lead and made little of the whole situation, although I apologized and explained myself. He accepted my apology and we headed to the car. And as I helped him into the back seat I saw the word GRACE stamped on his forehead in big red letters, and I have been hugging him ever since!

1 comment:

Dana said...

They learn grace and forgiveness from you. It's caught not taught. You're a great mom!